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Amber Marie.'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Amber Marie.

I looked up and I looked through her. She was made of light, with some sort of ill purity coursing through her like a sick angel.

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[Sun;Jan 1st;06| 6:31pm. ]
New year, new journal: esthetes
It's about time, I guess.
Add it, or comment if you want to be added, or yeah. What the fuck ever.
New screen name, as well: one aesthete.

Postscript, don't ask me about my new obsession with those words.
10 cried for salvation

[Sun;Oct 30th;05| 12:21pm. ]
There is so much going on in everyone's home life, and most of it is kept secret from everyone outside.
Things happen in my house that I don't tell anyone, not a single person, not even my best friends or boyfriend.
It's unhealthy, keeping everything to yourself, it really is.
And I also wonder how many kids think they're alone in all of the shit that happens at home.
Because they're not. It happens everywhere, in every household.

So, everyone.
Comment Anonymously. In your comment, get out all of the frustrations about your home life, all of your secrets, all of your ranting. Dispose of it all, rid yourself from these thoughts and feelings. It will be like throwing your trash away.
And then, people will look at your comment, and know that there are others who feel the exact same way as they do.

This post is Public, so that it will be completely anonymous.
19 cried for salvation

[Sun;Jun 12th;05| 9:55pm. ]
This weekend consisted of: Brett, Alicia, Ryan, Madeline, Julie, Mike Fitz, Geoff, and Mike Saunders. Thank God for all those people, really.
Brett, Alicia, Ryan, Julie and I went to Macaroni Grill where we drew on the tablecloth and laughed too much. Then we rode the metro and enjoyed each other's company, and Alicia and I danced to "Pounding" by Doves. We drove the boys to Ryan's and picked up Madeline and were just lovely together. We stayed up late talking and woke up and watched Ghostworld. I am so glad I have some girl friends now that I can talk to, and laugh with, and feel comfortable around. It is getting better all the time.
So, basically, I just realized that Brett leaves in about four days, and then I won't see him for six weeks. Approximately. So, basically, I am going to be in a bad mood all week. Just to give everyone a head's up, and everything.
Today I came home around two, and got my car keys taken away for some ungodly reason. I wrote two history essays, and finished The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera. Then I looked through Vogue and listened to Eisely.
I wish my mom would hurry up and come home, for once, so she can get my car keys back for me.

Crap.Collapse )
5 cried for salvation

[Thu;Feb 27th;03| 4:25pm. ]
[ mood | happy ]

I've been writing today...
writing always makes me happy.

my story is based on Good Charlotte's song "Bloody Valentine."

so now, i'm back to the world of Erek Mijk, Juliana Theory and Axel Baymen. (yes, i named one of my charactes Juliana Theory. It's a cool name, isn't it?!)

1 cried for salvation

Emo Survey [Wed;Feb 26th;03| 6:36pm. ]
[ mood | tired ]

(fav song)

ataris: Your Boyfriend Sucks
alkaline trio: While You're Waiting
blindside: dont listen
coheed and cambria: Devil In New Jersey (o0 good song kesh)
finch: What It Is To Burn, and Letters To You
tsl: ohhh like every single one of their damn songs...Nothings Going To Stop Us Now, Gregs Last Day, Best of Me, Leaving, Up and Go, Left-Coast Envy...
futher seems forever: Vengeance Factor
no use for a name: Dumb Reminders
excite bike: dont listen
june sprit: Your Sweet Legacy, So You/Me
dashboard confeesssional: Hands Down, oooh love that song, LOVE IT
julilana theory: If I Told You This Was Killing Me, Would You Stop?, Something Isn't Right Here
saves the day: Cars and Calories, The Last Lie I Told
taking back sunday: Cute Without The E, Your Disaster, Blue Channel, You Know How I do....jebus i love them
good charlotte : eh. i dont really listen, but i like Bloody Valentine
bright eyes: The Calendar Hung Itself, Sunrise Sunset

sunny day real estae: Fool In The Photograph
allister: Waiting For You
the used: Noise and Kisses, Greener With The Scenery, Buried Myself Alive
flogging molly: Swagger, Drunker Lullabies
the earley november: Come Back, Ever So Sweet
the get up kids: All That I Know
the movielife: It's Something
the styder: dont listen
deathcab for cutie: For What Reason
the promise ring: My Life Is At Home
the rocking horse winner: dont listen
definition unknown: dont listen

fave emo band: idk, Starting Line, TBS...i have a ton
fave pop/punk band: Third Eye Blind, Finch
fave emo song: any TSL, or "you know how i do", "cute without the e" or any DC
fave pop/punk song: "what it is to burn", "god of wine" "motorcycle drive-by" "the background" "losing a whole year"
fave guitarist: from Finch, and 3eb cus What It Is To Burn and Narcolepsy have some mad guitar parts
singer: chris carabba, Adam from TBS
bass: idk
drums: umm idk so im gunna go with Taking Back Sundays

do you cry when you listen to emo: yeah sometimes
if said yes who makes you cry the most: starting line
have you seen any of the bands from the first" section: no, i havent been to concerts very much
..which ones: ^
any bands you would like to see: umm all of em. im seeing, hopefully, TBS, Recover and From Autumn To Ashes on the 26th
fave song lyric: sooo many...so unless you want this entry to be like 57598430 pages long...
"i felt you long after we were through"
"and i wish you werent worth the wait, because theres some things id like to say to you"
o0o "hoping for the best/ hoping nothing happens/ a thousand clever lines/ unread on clever napkins/ i will never ask/ if you dont ever tell me/ i know you well enough/ to know you never loved me"
old or new
new found glory: way old, but its all good
good charlotte: old
saves the day: umm theyve been around since what? '98?
june spirit : relatively new. theyve only got 2 Cds

fave local band: BGN, runsix
band song: sincerity
name 10 local bands that u like
1) run six
2) boldy going nowhere
3) your mom
4) single white female
5) the turncoats
6) starlight storytime
7) syntonic
8) blue jay walking
9) four leaf clover
10) cornerpocket

haha no school tomorrow...

2 cried for salvation

I don't know much at all, and i don't know wrong from right. All i know is that i love you tonight [Wed;Feb 26th;03| 11:20am. ]
[ mood | awake ]

ahh its snowing like MAD
we got out 2 hours early! w0000p and Homan said tomorrow theres going to be no school, and if there is, i swear im kicking him in the crotch.

today was so much fun, though.

English---me and katie watson helped Max plan out his short story. we have Mr Derose taking steroids in Highschool, becoming a pathway drug to heroine. *flash forward* he's still majorly addicted to heroine. he owes dealer much denaro. He's a history teacher. Dealer comes to SCHOOL to collect over-due payment, when Derose can't pay, Dealer shoots Chris Nelson and runs. Mr Derose then kills himself. ahahahaha. great.
PE---the VCR was broken, so we didn't get to watch a Tyson Boxing match as planned, so we sat around and wrote on people's shoes.
Band---Bill and me switched shoes, and then Drew took my shoe from Bill, and i look over at the other room, and Drew is all like "look i have your shoelace!!" cause he un-stringed my shoe. then he sticks the shoelace....where? down his pants. im going to kick him in the crotch.
After That---haha after lunch ashley ran from Joe, and so did Max lol, and then me and Greg got cornered by Joe, and we refused to talk, and then Ash came back and Joe was like "why are you running ashley? come on. i have to protect you. you dont have anything to hide" and then he saw Max walk towards us then walk away and Joe was like "IS THAT HIM?!?" and he runs after Max, and me and Greg are like "WE HAVE TO SEE THIS" uhh i was laughing so hard. n Ash and Max were like "we're not going out" and then Andrew is walking by and Joe goes "Melim! he's trustworthy! Melim come here" and i walked by Andrew and whispered "say yes" and then he's like "so what is Ashley and this guy's situation?" and andrew said "YES" and he's like "theyre going out?" and andrews like "YES"
Walking Home---me and allan kicking snow on eachother, everone EXCEPT me falling on their ass cause of the ice...wow. i didnt fall. and then safwat was like "im going to push you down" and i said "if you do, im kicking you in the crotch" and he was like "well, good thing i dont have a crotch" ad i was laughing so hard.

RaZzyjelly8 8: im going to kick you in the crotch
FnchDrms87: im going to kick YOU in the crotch!


And there are some things better left unsaid... [Tue;Feb 25th;03| 3:04pm. ]
[ mood | amused ]

today was extremely interesting.
linda got me a scarf :-D thanks lindewin!
the scarf is 8 feet long (i measured) and it has snowball things at the end so everyone has been hitting me or other people with the snowball thingies. especially in biology me and beth were having wars. and its like twice the size of karissa lol.
then me n greg n beth screwed max and ashley over hehehehe. this older guy Joe (kind of like an older brother to Ashley in some way...), on Ashley and Greg's swim team, think Ashley n Max are going out because whenever he sees us theyre always walking together or w/e. (theyre NOT going out) so today when we walk by Joe, Ashley gets way away from Max, and Joe follows her, and she runs off, and Max runs down there with her, and so Joe asks me and Beth and Greg who "that guy with Ashley" is. and we were like "oh its her boyfriend!" so Joe was like "o0o0 that boy better watch out, he better not hurt Ashley" and later apparantly he walked by Max and was like "I'm watching you!!"
ohhh so funny, i was laughing so hard.

1 cried for salvation

I stay wrecked and jealous for this, for this simple reason. I just need to keep you in mind... [Mon;Feb 24th;03| 3:11pm. ]
[ mood | okay ]

Today was ok...

chris nelson is my new best friend. today he saw me taking menstraul pain tylenol (doesn't work) and he's like "here, you need this more then me." and he gave me a box of those chocolate girl scout cookie things. :-D u gotta love the boy.

on the way home safwat and allan and connor were being so gross, talking about goat porn. and connor was talking about this dad raping his kids, and i was like "oh, talking about your dad connor?"

oh and to clairfy things, Lisa is NOT a loser ;)

1 cried for salvation

Your body is a wonderland... [Sun;Feb 23rd;03| 11:53pm. ]
[ mood | crazy ]

uh huh...
look at Candace who thinks John Mayer is hers...
well STEP OFF BIA leave my husband alone!!!!!!!!

2 cried for salvation

We Won't Stand For Hazy Eyes Anymore [Sat;Feb 22nd;03| 11:24pm. ]
[ mood | complacent ]

today has been ...... interesting.

combined with my sucky feelings from all day + homesick wave + parents making me go out to dinner with them and a movie, = me, reaaaaally upset. now so what do i do? ok. we go to Shiros. Japenese Steakhouse. we're at the table. i burst out into tears. just from the entire days events overwhelming me at that moment, i just start crying. then my mom wants to know whats wrong. ughhhhh.

ok then we go to our "family movie". yeah we have six people. our family n bri. we split up into 3 different movies. whaaaaat the hell. so we see daredevil. its ok. i want to know where he got the suit from. then they kill off jennifer garner. nooo noo nooo. she was kicking ass and they killed her off. i was so mad. i wanted to shoot the producers. the movie ended so suckily, i was so pissed off.
so afterwards, we find out the movie, Gods and Generals, that my dad wants to see doesnt get out for another 2 HOURS. so me n bri n nichole are talking in the gigantic huge big enormous movie theatre lobby, when i see.......tim peterson. my senior section leader.
he jumps and waves and jumps and waves and i run towards him n he hugs me n spins me off the ground then sets me down n was like "ok now that ive made a COMPLETE fool of myself..."
he was with Sean, one-acts director Sean. After telling them how pissed off i am, Sean, being the comic book nerd he is, says she doesn't die.
so now im happy.
well not really.
but still.

3 cried for salvation

*reality slaps amber in the face* [Sat;Feb 22nd;03| 4:43pm. ]
[ mood | crushed ]

wow, this is cool

too bad i still feel like crap

too bad ive been slapped in the face by reality today

too bad stac sucks as a psychiatrist

too bad i want to go home and get away from this place.

I don't know why i care so much, when i shouldn't care at all... [Sat;Feb 22nd;03| 3:03pm. ]
[ mood | morose ]


this is very upsetting.

stacy you're a sucky psychiatrist.

i want to go to school.

2 cried for salvation

Amber <-------- No longer computer illiterate [Fri;Feb 21st;03| 10:52pm. ]
[ mood | nerdy ]


but hey at least now i can make my font all spiffy.

i practically read all the howto tutorials in LJ this afternoon.
go to my livejournal.
there, i even gave you the link.

i made my comments change to advanced plural stuff.
i changed the cursor.
if u move the cursor over one of my links, the link blurs.
i customized the font and size of EVERY text on my page.
i made it transparent.
i made the background image centered.

HELL i even customized the colors on my scroller!!!

and now i can do all kinds of neat text stuff.

im such a nerd.

oh bridge email me that glow-y code text thing again, i lost it.


ahahaha me n mark are gunna go ballroom dancing [Thu;Feb 20th;03| 7:20pm. ]
[ mood | bored ]

WoW is this actually working? jeez ive been trying to get on for the past like 36 hours...


school is off for the week w00p

and i had an extremely odd dream last night where Douglas Doud and Dale were tap-dancing together....ahhh scary scary


Heart torn out, down for the count, and still come back for more [Wed;Feb 19th;03| 3:24pm. ]
[ mood | anxious ]

+ what do you think of cheerleading: ummm i have a lot of friends who are cheerleaders, but personally i would never do cheerleading.
+ favorite Disney character: ahhh there are too many disney characters. i like...Goofy. or Pluto. or The Little Mermaid...
+ what brand of deodorant do you use: Dove
+ worst kiss: i was like 11 and me n Chase were climbing a tree and he kissed me and i pushed him out of the tree.
+ anyone you think is homosexual: haha YeAh...(stac: "why are all the guys in Virginia GAY??"
+ do you know anyone named LeRoy: no. LeRoy's a funny name kids
+ do you like Pickles: yeah but i havent had a pickle in a loooong time
+ do you have a website: I used to like a year ago. GOD, dont ya just love expage
+ do you watch PORN: cant say i do
+ are you black: nah im albino, with my pygmentless knees
+ do you wish you were black: not particularly
+ who you gonna vote for: not 18 yet guys
+ do you have your own phone line: no, DAMN my parents
+ your thoughts on abortion: against
+ do you like brittney spears: no shes a bad role model for 11 year olds
+ do you want a brittney doll: no
+ if not do you want one for christmas: why are we still on the brittney spears topic?
+ What do you want for christmas: a drumset! hehehe
+ do you have your 2 front teeth: yes
+ what do you want to do with your life: get out of highschool, move the hell out, room with Stacy at whatever college we finally decide on (UCF? FSC? FSU?) then become a writer and get married to John Mayer.
+ ever been butt naked bangin on the bathroom floor: yes, every day
+ would you ever get plastic surgery if so on what: ask me that when im old and wrinkly n gross
+ biggest redneck you know: haha...um...stacys dad with his alamabamian self and coon rifle and boom stick...or maybe all those people in Clarksville Tennessee.
+ last time you went skateing: Ice skating? o0o0o i broke my knee doing that...
+ last time you went to the bowling alley: not in a looooong time
+ last time you were in a hoopdy truck: AUSTIN!!! lol hoopdy
+ what perfume/cologne do you wear: Bath n Body works stuff
+ do you think forigen accents are sexy: some are
+ do you like jell-o if so what flavor: all jello is good jello
+ do you like hot dogs if so do you know whats in them: i love hot dogs, and yes, i do know that its pig guts squeezed into their own intestines. im not a vegetarian, i do not care
+ brand of toothpaste: ima Crest kid
+ last time you went to the doctor: a long time ago. im goin to the ortho today tho
+ do you think ricki martin is gay: idk i dunt care
+ do you think my tractors sexy: ahahaha! "she thinks my tractors sexay...it really turns her on" good god i cant believe i used to listen to country
+ do you have a credit card...can i use it?: nope
+ do you love your mom: uhhh sure
+ do you love your mom as much as norman bates did in PSYCHO?: hehehehe
+ ever taken ballet: yep for like 6 years
+ favoite juice: orange
+ Last time you used the restroom: umm...idk sometime today?
+ most attractive person: im gunna go with what mariah said n say everyones attractive in their own way
+ any diseases if so what are they: im mentally ill :(
+ last book you read: Harry Potter baby
+ white, dark, or milk choclate: milk chocolate
+ ever died your hair: nope neva
+ What brand shampoo: herbal essence
+ favorite holiday: christmas cuz it comes with a school break
+ thing you hate most about your body: im a freakin stick and my knees are albino
+ do you still play with barbies: nope
+ last thing or person you rode: i sledded on my boogey board!!!
+ are men really from mars: i dont think so...
+ do you have to do chores if so what are they: everything im a freakin slave child. what happened to labor laws??
+ last time you smoked: i dont smoke...i am smokin
+ last thing you bought: lunch

m0re rand0m..

+ are you stressed out...if so from what: schoolwork, guys, what i find out at the end of march...
+ what do you wear to the beach: a bathing suit
+ do you belive in angels: yup
+ would you ever join the army: nope
+ do you want a puppy: puppies are cute, but they pee all over the place
+ ever had a kick me sign on you: i remember in Mrs. Whitz class we used to put signs on each others back all the time...i also remember "Paper Ball"...jeez
+ how about a lick me sign: um....no
+ Favorite icing: icing?
+ are u a flirt: yeah, see how many people want to have sex in the snow with me?
+ last time you were scared: during The Ring
+ by what?: cuz it was a scary movie!!!!
+ last party you went to: my bday thing
+ do you do your own laundry: sorta
+ what detergent do you use: idk
+ what fabric softner do you use: idk
+ are your nails real or fake: real
+ do you get jiggy with it: sure
+ do u live at the wild wild west: i live in the dull dull Virginia
+ what do you wish you were named: amber
+ favorite movie star: josh hartnett, shane west, the guy Griff on Boy Meets World
+ are your parents divorced...if so for what reasons: no
+ would you ever wear a waterbra: no
+ do you work out: haha no im so out of shape
+ are u muscular: see above
+ are you flabby: nah
+ are you fat: Im obese
+ do you take a lot of pictures: summertime is my picture-taking time
+ favorite tv show: Friends, Daria, Boy Meets World
+ do you want a baby: no kids are evil
+ ever thought u were pregnent: cant say i have
+ last time you were sick: the day after one-acts
+ butter or margerine: butter
+ your feelings on mcdonald chicken nuggets: they used to be crap but they good now
+ do chinese people really cook cats and dogs: its indonesia!! haha albino beavers in indonesia...
+ do you belilve in santa claus: no :(
+ do you go to a tanning bed: nah. why pay for a sunburn?
+ are you in love...with anyone...with me???: idk
+ do you have a car: no *sigh*
+ do you have your licence?: no *sigh*
+ how do you get around: parents, other peoples parents, school bus
+ favorite rugrats character: i dont watch that show
+ got milk: the milk scandal!!!! they take all the calcium out of milk!! damn milk people
+ do you sniff markers: hahahaha...
+ are you dissatisfied with your hair color: no i like it
+ what kind of jewelry do you wear: a necklace, tie earrings, 2 rings, 2 watches and some bracelets
+ what do you think of *//\\//Sync??: ew
+ have you ever modeled: no
+ do you shop in catalogs: colorguard uniform catalogs, me n bonstance look at them with mr helm
+ what do you like the opposite sex to wear: i dont care what they wear, thats shallow
+ do you have a cellie: i wish
+ what do you think of eminem: rap sucks
+ favorite kind of gum: gum. is gum. is gum.
+ would you ever get a tatoo: jeez people ud think every1 would know that i have one of martha stewart on my ass by now...
+ do you think lil bow wow is cute: not really
+ have you seen charlies angels: nope
+ what magazines do you get: Seventeen
+ do you belive your horoscope: sometimes
+ Whats your sign: Aquarius

even m0re rand0m..

+ do u like coffee...what kind...what in it: starbucks chocolate brownie mocha frappachinoes...*dies in heaven*
+ do you write in pen or pencil....or markers: pen
+ favorite lip gloss: good tasting ones
+ do you wear a watch: i wear 2...one is broken
+ sunglasses: nope
+ ever use nair....if so where?: nope
+ ever been to the mall of america: nope
+ do you want a leather jacket: i have one, i never wear it
+ ever ridden a motorcycle: yes, my dads
+ do you think justin timberlake and brittney spears are really togther: Do I care?
+ what you think of bsb?: umm...theyre better then nsync but i dont listen to that kind of music
+ do you read the chicken soup books: i used to
+ have you seen the exorsist: nope
+ are you online a lot: yeh...
+ do you have an old navy performance fleece: cant stand old navy
+ are you getting tired of doing this: nah
+ do you buckle up: im always buckled up ;) i have a seat belt belt
+ any siblings: nichole n demon child
+ what are their names: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
+ what are their ages: 13, 10
+ do they wanna fill out our great survey: no...
+ do you know how to yo yo: i can get it to go down and come back up
+ what color are your panties: pink
+ ok we're done are you happy?: sure y not

ahh now on to the ortho where i get to tell my mom i broke my retainer...

1 cried for salvation

So it's safe to say that we've been here before... [Tue;Feb 18th;03| 11:00pm. ]
[ mood | disappointed ]

it'll never happen.

he can't let go.

3 cried for salvation

Snow Day Snow Day la la la la la la [Tue;Feb 18th;03| 5:50pm. ]
[ mood | mehrf ]

todays off...
tomorrows off too...

w00p w00p

i have GR8 friends guys

RaZzyjelly8 8: i lead a sad sad life
EAP4alwayz: nah
EAP4alwayz: u dunt
EAP4alwayz: how can it b sad if u got me as ur best bud

man im feelin emotional right now, and candace LIFTED me up!

im so confused. someones gunna kick my arse. lol stac knows who...


1 cried for salvation

What kind of diet is it when you don't eat food after 7:00? I mean seriously? What kind? [Mon;Feb 17th;03| 4:05pm. ]
[ mood | so bored its makin me sick ]

YOu see the world in Neutral
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

awww your a millencolin person! good band! good
singing but i dont no what there animal
obbsession is!

brought to you by Quizilla
hey they are actually pretty good

*(jus get it over with and be a bad person...u do
bad things but u never go all the way...ur
almost ther though)*

*(are u bad kid...in school)*
brought to you by Quizilla

you are such a floridian come save me!!!
wow you are such a floridian come save me!!!

*****would you fit in florida?****
brought to you by Quizilla
*sigh* i know...come! save me!

you are a PUNK! you are hardcore, love bands like
blink 182, new found glory, and saves the day.

*~*WhAt HiGh ScHoOl LaBeL aRe YoU?*~* (with pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla
hahha...k since when was Blink182 hardcore???

1 cried for salvation

When you call my name, its like a little prayer... [Sun;Feb 16th;03| 5:53pm. ]
[ mood | confused ]

i think im confused right now.

i dunt know what to feel :-/

and i dunno who to screw
lol stac


2 feet of snow...holy cow

3 cried for salvation

whoa buddy [Fri;Feb 14th;03| 10:27pm. ]
[ mood | numb ]

You're *Letters To You* by Finch

Which *Punk Love* Song Describes Your Relationship?
brought to you by Quizilla


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